My Random Thoughts

Need to be positive and change my outlook on life.

Ever wake up and feel completely lost? That’s how I feel at the moment. My family lost my grandfather at the weekend and I really don’t know what to do with myself.

I’ve been quite fortunate to have only lost one close family member before this but it really doesn’t get any easier as this is my third grandparent to get the dreaded Alzheimer’s. It’s in all honesty quite scary and it’s really making me think about my own life and health as my father had a heart attack at 42 and my Nanna (my only remaining biological grandparent) may need a heart transplant.

I’m 30 in a couple of months and I am overweight and unhealthy. I know I am. I’ve spoken to my husband about it today and I’ve admitted to him that he doesn’t help since all he eats is takeaway.

I need to give myself a kick up the arse because I don’t want to see my children suffer because I didn’t look after myself. I do have one class a week on a Monday where I do pole fitness but I did make them aware I wasn’t going to be there on Monday as I’m mourning which I think is completely understandable.

I really need to evaluate my life because no one else can do it for me. Problem is I don’t even know where to start.

However, that’s something that I can think about during this time. I need to be positive. So with this in mind, I am considering enquiring about a gym membership and start making my own lunches when I finally return to work.

I’m not planning on changing myself too much. I like myself how I am I just need to change the way I see food and not use it as a comfort blanket when I’m feeling down or more likely bored.

At the end of the day it’s not just me I need to think of as I said it’s my kids. I know my husband is not planning on changing his very unhealthy habits any time soon so I feel this makes me feel that I need to step it up a lot more.

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