My Random Thoughts

Not going to be swallowed up by the black cloud over my head

Once again I had to take some unexpected time off my blog and I’ve been struggling with how to do it lately. I really want to be able to share my thoughts and theories of books with the world but due to (I’d say unexpected but it really wasn’t) family matters I just haven’t wanted to pick up a book and immerse myself.

The thing that has been bugging me through is that I want to get lost in a book, I want to be able to have that little escape. To be honest this year has been absolutely awful for my family and friends. We’ve lost countless numbers of people we love and then I’m also told that if I don’t hit my target soon I will be reviewed. 

Work are aware of the issues I’ve had this year and “it doesn’t help that you had three months off with surgery.” What they fail to see though is that although I don’t want to be there but I am every day and I will only phone in sick if I am actually sick. I’ve had 4 occurrences in 12 months and all of those are connected with my throat issues, and in my defense I wasn’t expecting the surgery to have failed within a couple of months when I followed the after care instructions to the letter.

I don’t want to spiral because of work again.

Earlier on this year, probably around March I was put on mild anti-depressants because I was struggling to cope. I was angry, I was tired and I wasn’t me. So I bit the bullet and went to a doctor. At the moment I am not on the pills although the husband thinks I should be but I’m not one to rely on medications.

Beautiful landscape

So why am I writing this today?

Because I’ll get through this no matter what

because I need to remember that there are people out there that need me. I’m not suicidal or anything so no one has to worry about that. There are people who need the happy, smiley, sarcastic, argumentative Laura that they all know. 

So how am I going to do this. 

Well first of all I am going to try and stop beating myself up over trivial matters. Like tonight when I couldn’t get the Sky Q box to connect to our broadband simply because I couldn’t be in the bedroom and living room at the same time. 

Once again I am going to set some time aside to be me. Whether it be writing here, reading, listening to music or even have a bubble bath without a 7 year old or a 4 year old trying to join me. 

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too

L.R. Knost

Now all I need to do is get out of my reading slump as I’m already 3 books behind my Goodreads schedule 😬 whoops. I’ll get there as I have 10 books and 6 weeks but my husband will be on nights for 4 sets during that time. Hopefully I’ll catch up as I still have audible. 

To start again on a positive note here is a picture of me smiling and if you got all the way through to the end of this post which I wasn’t expecting to be this long then thank you.


Books and geekiness

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